The only jokes you receive are through email
All your sentences begin with "what if?"
At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt out bulb in the string.
You remember half a dozen passwords and your ten-digit CompuServe address, but you have to call your niece "kiddo".
The sales people at CompUSA can't answer any of your questions.
You can name at least six Star Trek episodes.
You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
You have memorized the Discovery Channel programming schedule, but have seen most of the shows already.
You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
You own one or more white short-sleeve shirts.
The blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it.